Funny quotes
Si mis taquitos tienen verduda... ¿Cuenta como ensalada?
Who think it's better: Instagram or Facebook?
Ojala perdiera peso con la misma facilidad con que pierdo la paciencia.
What would your cat say if it could talk?
Less talks, more GIFs!
Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands
Whenever you feel stupid remember there are people outside catching Pokemon
Skinny people are easier to kidnap, stay safe and eat chocolate
When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half
I tried to be normal once, it was the worst 2 minutes of my life
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.
People who don't know me think I'm quiet, people who do wish I was
At my age I need glasses.....wine glasses
If being sarcastic burned calories I'd be transparent by now
I'm shy at first but once I am comfortable watch out for some crazy shit
Sometimes I forget how to spell things so I change the whole sentence just to avoid it
Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on a beach drinking cocktails.
I'm in shape. Unfortunately that shape is a potato.
You can't make everyone happy, you're not pizza
I apologize to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly.
My doctor asked if anyone in my family suffered from insanity, I told him, no, we all enjoy it
A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands
I should be given an award for keeping my mouth shut when there's so much to be said
Never stop doing your best because someone doesn't give you credit
3 out of the 4 voices in my head want to sleep. The other wants to know if penguins have knees.
