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A blank cheque kills creativity

The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog

friday is coming soon...

Friday night. Are you drunk?

Dear Karma, I have a list of the people you missed

If anyone can have it, I don't want it

If tea can't fix it, it's a SERIOUS problem

I love you with all of my butt. I would say my heart, but my butt is bigger

I'm jealous of my parents, I will never have a kid as cool as theirs

There are 2 rules in life:\n1. Don't give out all the information

One day, I am going to make the onions cry

Work like a captain, play like a pirate

I am not a one in a million kind of girl. I am a once in a lifetime kind of woman

If you are scared, just be scarier than whatever is scaring you

Always be yourself. Unless you can be a pirate, then always be a pirate

Every time you find some humour in a difficult situation, you win

It feels good to be lost in the right direction

— What date is it today?\n— It is Friday the 13th

Life is too short to be serious all of the time. So if you can't laugh at yourself, call me and I will laugh at you

If you are offended by the things I say, imagine what I hold back

I'm not actually funny, I am just mean and people think I am joking

THINK, while it's still legal!

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