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Never argue with stupid people. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

I'm not stupid. I just lack common sense.

I know that I am stupid but when I look around I feel a lot better

Tuesday isn't so bad...It's a sign that I've somehow survived Monday

I love it when the coffee kicks in and I realize what an adorable badass I'm going to be today

I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam

There is a certain happiness in being silly and ridiculous

I miss you like an idiot misses the point

Sometimes being silly with your friend is the best therapy

I'm 70% nicer after 4pm on Fridays

People say nothing is impossible but I do nothing every day

I want world peace and bigger boobs

Wishful Wednesday........wishing it was Friday

Being a Mom is my SuperPower

"Everything is taken more serious in quotes"

"Everything in quotes is taken more serious"

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Here's to the crazy ones

Lo he oído todo, lo he visto todo, lo he hecho todo... Solo que no recuerdo nada. 😕 (A.J. Simpson)

"This is hilarious. I've got an oscar" -Olivia Coleman

COMMON SENSE IS LIKE DEODORANT. THE PEOPLE WHO NEED IT MOST NEVER USE IT.

I DON’T NEED A HAIR STYLIST, MY PILLOW GIVES ME A NEW HAIRSTYLE EVERY MORNING.

Life is so short. If you can’t laugh at yourself then call me, I will

The only day I get through Wednesday is by avoiding people who call it hump day

If Mondays were shoes they'd be Crocs

Friday is like a superhero that always arrives just in time to stop me from savagely beating one of my coworkers with a keyboard

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